Here I Love You, Aqui Te Amo - Pablo Neruda Poem
Being separated from my husband is not something that is unfamiliar to me. This poem expresses the longing I feel to be near his bones so perfectly. So keenly. Indeed I think what made Neruda a great romantic poet was not his ability to write about love but to express it's completeness, it's at times imperfection, or complication so truthfully.
Here I Love You
Aquí Te Amo
En los oscuros pinos se desenreda el viento.Fosforece la luna sobre las aguas errantes.Andan días iguales persiguiéndose.Se desciñe la niebla en danzantes figuras.Una gaviota de plata se descuelga del ocaso.A veces una vela. Altas, altas estrellas.O la cruz negra de un barco.Solo.A veces amanezco, y hasta mi alma está húmeda.Suena, resuena el mar lejano.Este es un puerto.Aquí te amo.Aquí te amo y en vano te oculta el horizonte.Te estoy amando aún entre estas frías cosas.A veces van mis besos en esos barcos graves,que corren por el mar hacia donde no llegan.Ya me veo olvidado como estas viejas anclas.Son más tristes los muelles cuando atraca la tarde.Se fatiga mi vida inútilmente hambrienta.Amo lo que no tengo. Estás tú tan distante.Mi hastío forcejea con los lentos crepúsculos.Pero la noche llega y comienza a cantarme.La luna hace girar su rodaje de sueño.Me miran con tus ojos las estrellas más grandes.Y como yo te amo, los pinos en el viento,quieren cantar tu nombre con sus hojas de alambre
Got Plagiarism? - Check Your Writing with Grammarly
I use Grammarly's plagiarism checker because my mother always said that imitation was the greatest form of flattery, and because the internet took her advice too literally I no longer can.
When I'm writing and fear I may be imitating a beloved writer too closely Grammerly is my "go to" tool to ensure that my words are indeed my own.
The Fault in Our Stars - By John Green Gutted Me (Book Review)
If you're a reader you have a list of books you want to read. Some you can't wait to open. Some you put off, because you know in your gut, the story is either going to disappoint you or change you.This was true for me with John Green's The Fault in Our StarsOf course I knew it was widely acclaimed. I've avoided reviews, or even reading the synopsis except that it was a story about cancer, a boy and a girl, and love.This book gutted me. It totally slayed me. It changed me. It made me, want to write better.This book is a love story yes, but not in a sappy, way. It's heartbreaking, tragic, it made me laugh out loud (literally) and cry. I cried a lot. It's witty and intelligent and alive.Alive?
This book is about kids who are dying... Yes. But it is more about living and not in a cheesy post card "live your best life" way, but in a real, gritty, perk-less way that is true.If you've been waiting to read this book as I was. Don't wait. Seize the day and this book.xo
I shall not live in vain - Emily Dickinson
VIIF I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain;If I can ease one life the aching,Or cool one pain,Or help one fainting robin Unto his nest again,I shall not live in vain~Emily Dickinson
Zombie Regret - The What Ifs & Should Haves
I came across this quote on tumblr or pinterest the other day and thought it was cool so I saved it, expecting to add it to my "cool quotes" file or something... Fast forward to today and I'm scanning through my downloads looking for something completely different when I happened upon this quote. I sat and stared at it a few moments and just knew I had to "make" something with it; because upon seeing it again it was clear, the universe was speaking to me. I printed this bad boy out and added it to this little frame.While I put this all together I thought about a conversation I had not ten minutes prior to my re-discovery of this quote . It happened with an old acquaintance on Facebook and she'd mentioned something she had always wanted to do. I remember her telling me about it and said as much, but though I encouraged her to "give it a go", even in baby steps, she kept making excuses. I felt rather disheartened because I know she could do this thing she wants to do and, I imagine, be wonderful at it.
I really hope she does, do what she always wanted to do. I really, really, really do. Otherwise I fear the zombies known as "what if" and should have" may eat her brains.
I hung my little creation on my inspiration board to remind me that regret is far worse than a zombie apocalypse.
The WHAT-IF's & the SHOULD HAVE's will eat your brain" ~ John O'Callaghan
2013 A Review in Pictures Flipagram
In 2013 I welcomed my husband home after 751 days. Eight months later I kissed him goodbye for what should be 190 days. I kissed him... A lot. Said good bye to family and friends in Miami, fulfilled a life long dream of living in Europe. In Italy I've made some good friends who feel like family, climbed a mountain (sort of), read a ton of books. Wrote some stuff, including a letter to Juliette (and felt her up). I became a soccer mom, sent my baby to Kindergarten, drank a bunch of wine, and even more coffee and tea, and ate way too much gelato. My Gram gives the best hugs and slobbery kisses and I miss them. Oh and I still heart Mr. Darcy!I made this using the Flipagram app and the song is "Sway" by Blue October
On Last Firsts & Believing in Santa
December 1st has arrived. Our last, first of the year. I'm sitting at my desk in relative quite admiring the dappled sun filter through my curtains, the click-tick song of my son's typing on the computer next to me reminds me that he is growing up. It's his first school report he's actually doing (mostly) by himself. I'm guiding him, but he's got the task of putting it all together. It's going very slow as he's easily distracted, but for the moment he's on task and I'm enjoying watching him. The way his hair is sticking out every which way, his knee bouncing up and down, I imagine is what is helping keep him in his seat, and the soft way he whispers the words as he types reminds me of years gone by, of nap times hidden under covers, and stories told by flashlight.Most of the time we don't know when our last 'firsts' occur, or when the last of our 'lasts' happen, so when we do it's important to be cognizant of them. To take notice and appreciate these mundane simple times that will all too quickly be relegated to memory.I'm trying really hard to be cognizant.For instance, I think this may be Micheal's last Christmas where he believes in Santa. He questioned me earlier about Santa, saying that in his class some kids didn't believe. I knew this conversation was coming, at nine years old, I knew there were few Christmases-if any, left where he blindly believed. He didn't come outright and ask me weather or not Santa was real, so I didn't volunteer any information; I only asked if he believed.He said he did. I'm not sure if he was humoring me, or perhaps afraid, not quite ready for the truth,not quite ready for the magic to end.I know I'm not ready for it to be over for him just yet, so I told him Santa was real for him, as long as he believed. In my response, I know a hint of the truth can be gleamed and he's a smart boy. When the time finally comes for me to "come clean" on Santa, I'll be honest. I'll tell him that Santa lives in all of us, that each Christmas people who loved him, not just his Mommy and Daddy purchased gifts for him, and gave them to him in Santa's name because that's what Christmas is about. To share love and to give from your heart. I want the excitement for the magic of Christmas to remain, for the spirit of love and giving to fill his heart and not disappointment in learning the truth about St. Nick. I may go a bit overboard in the magic department this Christmas, my baby boy is nine years old and I suspect these memories will remain with him well into adult hood. If I have one Christmas wish (aside from having my husband home) it's for him to be able to look back at his childhood Christmases and remember them as being magical times filled with wonder and joy. If this is to be his last one where the magic was real, then you better believe it will be. No matter how many times I've got to wiggle my nose, or wave my proverbial magic wand, it will be!Abracadabra-bibity-bobity-boo!
Bring on the magic!Happy December!xo,nicōleEdit:It happened. He asked. The very next year. Another milestone in our children's lives. Not my favorite, but I manged to turn it into a positive. You can read that post here: Telling Kids the Truth about Santa